It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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