i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
His nipple licking is glorious
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