its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
