he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
