HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
