Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
How naked do you want me to be?
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