One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
