i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
organizing the empties. That sober.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
