I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
