Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
