it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
