im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
