i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
