So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I came so hard my ears popped.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
