do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
