i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
