no, he came in my armpit
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
