So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
