you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
do nipples grow back?
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