And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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