Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
