How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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