I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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