so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
