New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
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Do I have a choice?
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God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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