did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
