I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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