when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize