is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Even my vagina gasped.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
