White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
