They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
