i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
