I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
