Even the bartender felt bad for me
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
