I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
