Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
