Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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