please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i dont even know how to be here
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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