it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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