roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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