I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
