i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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