Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
