This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
