somebody snuck up and got me drunk
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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