I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
