2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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