is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
