apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
