Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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