awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
