After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
