I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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