Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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