I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
