You're my little dorito
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
