I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
