Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
