Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
