my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
