Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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