break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
